


The Weight of Our Love

by funkyziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: #iwon'tmind, #jaan, #ziam #love #sex #oralsex #songfic #boyfriends #bandfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:40:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4032229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funkyziam/pseuds/funkyziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Their story is important enough to talk about out loud and Zayn has got to tell it. In the quiet morning, Zayn is so overwhelmed with his love for Liam that he decides to write him a song. Inspired by the lyrics to "I Won't Mind" by Zayn Malik.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Weight of Our Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing Ziam fanfiction, though I'm an avid reader. I hope this story makes you feel the love that inspired me to write it. If it touches you in some way, please leave me a comment. To my girls, my "Ziam squad" who were the first ones to see this: thanks for your support and for sharing in my love for Zayn and Liam.

It was a quiet, cold morning in Surrey and Zayn had nothing but nicotine and caffeine coursing through his veins. He wrote the lyrics in his notebook and furiously scribbled them out again. Shit. It seemed no words could properly capture the emotions swirling around inside him.

     His heart, his soul, his  _jaan_ was still in bed, sleeping soundly. After a particularly intense, and let’s face it, fucking amazing night of sex, Zayn decided he had to put his thoughts about them on paper. He decided to write a song about the fire that always simmers between them, their connection, their love. Because that’s exactly what it was. Love, pure and simple. Zayn reluctantly shook off the memory from last night of sweet, plump lips wrapped firmly around his cock, and focused on describing what this relationship means to him.

      “Don’t look around, ‘cause love is blind, and darling right now, I can't see you.” Neither one of them was perfect obviously but they were damn close to it together. As lame as that sounded, it was true. They just fit somehow and any faults were mostly easy to deal with when you felt so accepted, so safe, so at ease all the time.

      “I’m feeling proud, so without a doubt, I can feel you.” Zayn carries a piece of his Liam with him always, right in the center of his chest. He can feel the reminder, like a weight anchoring him and keeping him steady. Next to his family and the success he’s found with the band, this love that happened so easily but grew so surely, is what gives him the most pride. The feeling that swells up inside him when they both hit their high notes flawlessly or catch each other’s gaze on stage during You and I is incomparable. Or when those chocolate brown eyes shine with a giggle after Zayn’s intense, flirtatious stare. Damn, it just about takes his breath away sometimes. _Mine_ -is all he can think- _mine_. Someone who buys him an expensive gold bracelet for Valentine’s Day, to wear on the first leg of their tour, so there’s a visible reminder of who Zayn belongs to. Rich, possessive bastard, he sighs, as a smile curls his lips. Of course Zayn would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. Someone who happily takes pictures with countless fans at 3 am, though he’s exhausted, hungry, and cranky. Someone who draws Zayn out of himself and makes him feel more human, even when he wants to sulk and be alone. _HE_   is mine, Zayn thinks, as his chest tightens. And yeah-pride doesn’t begin to cover it.

     “Cause we are who we are, when no one’s watching. And right from the start, you know I got you.” Even in the beginning, it was always the two of them, bonding over Chris Brown, R&B tunes and twister ice creams. Zayn’s inability to dance and Li's persistence to teach him. Stubborn idiot. Trying on flannels and ripped jeans in the corner of AE, while hiding out from fans. What a wild day that was. Then, subtle but not really discreet linking of fingers or a gentle, reassuring touch on the back when they thought no one was looking. What began as the best kind of secret, was now plainly obvious to anyone who paid attention. They simply are who they are-always. Whether they’re on stage, in an interview or just kicking back at home. All this time later, Zayn honestly can’t help the light he gets in his eyes or the warm flutter that swarms in the pit of his stomach every time they’re together. It just happens and he couldn’t stop it if he tried. The gazes filled with secret emotion, the licking of lips, the sudden need to swallow because your throat is suddenly tight - yeah, he can’t help those things. His physical reactions, and Liam’s for that matter, have raised some eyebrows and caught them some shit on many occasions, when all the world could see, but he couldn’t give a fuck. It’s him and his emotions at their most basic. He’d never deny this feeling, this need for Liam at his side, not for anything or anyone. And he hasn’t really, even from the beginning. Being with Liam is like breathing and it sets him free.

     “We messed around until we found, the one thing we said we could never, ever live without. I’m not allowed to talk about it, but I gotta tell ya.” Zayn vividly remembers the first time they kissed. Fuck, how could he forget. They were alone, after a show and he was wired. He just couldn’t fight the pull that drew him in whenever they were together. He’d been running it through his mind, picturing what it’d be like for days, and so he finally just did it. They’d been laughing, screwing around and Zayn leaned closer and said, “Come on then, come on Liam,” and pressed their lips together. The faint taste of Jack Daniels lingered on his lips afterward and damn if he didn’t want another taste. And while Zayn always sensed there was something different, something magnetic between them, he never could have imagined where that first kiss would ultimately lead. It happened again and again after that night-playful kissing-more-a quick grind of the hips against each other to get off a bit after a show. Always playful, just messing about and not so serious. _Until it was_. Until that one time when their eyes met and held the gaze for what seemed like hours. And strong but gentle hands grasped his face and tugged on his hair just roughly enough to make him moan, with the pleasure of it. And a solid body wrapped itself around his with want and need so fierce it took his breath away. And Liam’s tongue met his and the kiss sent a fire through his veins and a current through his body that made him feel more alive than he’d ever felt before. Zayn knew then. He knew, because he felt it deep within his bones that this was more than just messing around and that there was no going back from whatever this was.

     Sometimes it hurts like hell that not everyone knows and that he can’t talk about this amazing piece of his life with certain people or in these particular places, because of the business they’re in. But he’s not ashamed and damn it, he needs to put it on paper-to see the tangible proof of what they share. Because it’s all so intense and consuming at times, that it threatens to pull him under with the weight and significance of it. He’d willingly drown in this feeling though, if that chevron inked arm was there with him, holding him tight and keeping him afloat. And though Zayn didn’t realize then, how much it would comfort them both down the road, he can see now that he always had the boy with the warm eyes and kind smile. _Always_. Right from the start. They’d protected each other, had each other’s backs. They knew each other inside and out. And fuck, if he knew nothing else, he knew this with certainty. One Direction or not, music industry or not. Surrey or LA, or somewhere in between. Public life or private life. Zayn had found his home. The one thing he’d fight like hell to hold on to for the rest of his life. The one thing he could never, ever live without.

     As if he could hear Zayn’s thoughts, his jaan, his Liam walks into the kitchen and leans against the entryway. He looks somewhat rested but still well and truly fucked out from last night. _Damn_. I did that. I ruined him so thoroughly, I can still tell the morning after, Zayn thinks, as a possessive urge wells up inside him. How is he supposed to finish this song now? When this gorgeous man, his fucking beautiful Liam, struts in here with wild hair, dark eyes and tight as fuck boxer briefs? He’s not. Zayn’s gaze wanders to the fuzzy trail of hair leading straight to Liam’s dick and memories of Liam fucking into him up against that very wall last night assault his senses. **FUCK.** The way their passion had made Zayn bite his own lip harshly to stifle the moans and how hard they both came when Liam whispered, “ I got you. I love you, babe. Let go. “

     And just like that, he’s hard and has to fight the urge to palm himself. Fuck, if Liam doesn’t own him. Every little piece of him-heart and soul. Zayn closes his notebook and walks over to wrap his arms around Liam. “Aren’t you a sight this morning, Payno? Looks like someone had their wicked way with you and you quite liked it, “ Zayn says with a smirk. A cocky grin spreads across Liam’s face as he wraps his forearms around Zayn, playfully squeezes his ass and says, “How soon you forget Malik. Guess I didn’t fuck you nearly hard enough last night to make you remember it was me who had you…just the way I like.” This time it’s a vision of himself on his knees in their shower, with his lips sucking firmly on Liam’s thick cock, working him over something good, that floods his mind. The way Liam pulled at his hair and thrust into his mouth as he came undone, nearly wrecked him on the spot. Fuck. Lust and want coil through Zayn’s body at Liam’s words and the memories of what they’d done last night. Damn, they hadn’t even had breakfast and he really wanted to finish his song for Liam. But fuck if he could think about anything else now, apart from devouring his boyfriend. Liam. Fucking sexy bastard. “Oh, I remember quite fine, Li. And I think we both gave as good as we got last night, “ Zayn says huskily as he slips his hand inside Liam’s boxers. “Zayn, “ Liam hisses. And Zayn watches Li’s eyes roll shut as he squeezes a fist around his cock and nips at his bottom lip. That delicious, full lip.

     “We should probably eat breakfast, but fuck Liam, you need to be taught a lesson for strutting in here, wearing those boxers when I was in the middle of something. Something important too. They’re so tight and they make your ass and cock look so…..” The rest of Zayn’s words are muffled as Liam crashes his lips roughly over his and flips them around. Zayn’s back is pressed up against the wall and ahhh yes. Last night is coming back to him again, in waves and fuck it’s so good as Liam grinds his hard cock against his own and continues to kiss him feverishly. Zayn revels in Liam’s touch. “Yeah, babe?” Liam challenges. “I’ll teach you not to get up early and leave me all alone in that big bed, wanting you. Fucking hate that.”

     And that’s the thing about them. As much as Zayn _loves_ Liam, from the deepest and strongest part of his heart, he also always _wants_ him _so fucking much_. Always. It never lessens. When they’re cuddled up on the couch, watching The Dark Knight for the 50th time because it’s a sick film and Liam’s favorite. Or when their eyes meet over the dinner table and Zayn’s breath hitches at the feeling. It’s always so much. Zayn has always felt so much…fondness, passion, and desire for this beautiful, brown eyed boy who walked into his life so easily and left a mark that will remain forever.

     “Okay, Li. You can teach **me** the lesson this time. You do it so well and I won’t mind. I never do babe. “ Zayn glances over at his notebook as he’s led down the hallway to their bedroom. He’ll finish his song for Liam later and then he’ll even talk to Shahid about helping him mix and record it. He can imagine how it will sound now and wonders if his jaan will like it. Whether or not anyone other than Liam ever hears the song, their story is important enough to talk about _out loud_. And he’s got to tell it.


End file.
